Cute Celebrity Child Induces Mild Rambling

Maddox Jolie-Pitt accompanied his parents to the Invictus premiere tonight (December 3) in Beverly Hills, where this picture was snapped.

A few things:

1. This kid is getting cuter by the second. Seriously, how precious is he? The hat, the scarf, the ring — I mean, this whole thing, it just works.
2. Do you think he wore that ring to match Brad’s? ‘Cause if so, cue the awwws.
3. Check out the healthy grip Brad and Angelina have on him.
4. I don’t blame them for the death-grip. I’d hold him tightly too if there were weirdo blogger fans like me out there who dedicate an entire post to talking about how cute and fashionable your Cambodian kid is. Hold on tight, Brangelina, or the kid is mine!  
5. All jokes aside, I surmise that Maddox will turn out to be one of the coolest cats you’d ever hope to meet.
6. If Angelina and I were both in a contest for veiny-est hands (’cause that’s something people want a prize for), I would win. But if Madonna were also in that contest with us, she would win.
7. If Angelina, Madonna, and I were in a contest for biggest biceps, Madonna would win first prize, I’d come in second, and Angelina would place last. Man, two losses in a row, Angie just can’t catch a break. I guess she wouldn’t care much though. She still wins the prize for most-goodly-reformed celebrity since, um, Madonna?
8. If Angelina, Madonna, and I were in a contest for darkest complexion, I would win by a landslide. (Come on, I had to place myself first in at least one of these hypothetical contests.)
9. If Angelina and Madonna were in a contest for who’s adopted more children of the world, Angelina would win (obvi). Until Madonna adopts quadruplets from Chechnya.
10. If Maddox and Pax were in a contest for cutest Asian kid adopted by Angelina Jolie, she’d call it a tie. Until she adopts a Laotian newborn who would take the cake — ’cause really what’s cuter than an Asian baby? Nothing. Maybe a black baby. Maybe.